Tomorrow morning I will start a new job.
I’m dreading it.
Yes, you read that right. I’m dreading going back to work. At least I’m dreading going back to THIS particular kind of work. I’m going back to work, a part-time position at a local university, being a front desk administrative assistant. *SIGH*
Unfortunately, accepting this position interferes with all the nursing school schedules, thereby making it impossible for me to register for school. This deeply saddens and disturbs me.
On one hand, I want to pursue the new avenue of work I want to engage in: caregiver and nursing. On the other hand, we have run out of options and I really HAVE to take the job, even though it means schooling will have to be put on hold…yet again. I’m hoping this is only a temporary setback – a means to an end (getting money in, so we can more easily pay for school).
On one hand, I want to better myself, so that I can get into a field that has potential and will only take me a couple months to complete and be certified. Something that will enable our little family to move ahead in life. On the other hand, well, bills need to be paid, we need the roof over our head and food on the table. After tabulating just our basic bills for each month, we realized there is no way we can afford for me to pass up the job, even if it means we may be digging ourselves into a deeper hole by putting my school on hold.
In the past few weeks, we have realized how much we are really on our own and must do whatever we have to get by and get ahead. We have to think of ourselves first and others later. Makes me want to just break down and cry, yet I’m so frustrated I can’t even do that at times.
On the positive note, hubz and I finally got some sit down time today to hash out some of the goal planning we want to do in the immediate future. I feel a bit better having done so. Now we just need to implement those actions. I’m daring to hope that we will be clutter free by June. I was hoping to have school and certification done by then, too, but we’ll have to see how that plays out. So many goals and dreams, so little time in the day, so few resources. Isn’t that the way it always is?